KEEP IT LIGHT HOW TO
KEEP IT LIGHT UPDATE

Dating someone in another city I'm moving to, I was fine with just having my stories watched, occasionally comments on them, like on posts etc. Yes, watching somebody's story is communication. Love is familiarity, trust, first, then comes the physical and emotional part gradually. It's how teenagers with undeveloped brains approach other people. Basically, the stuff you see in films and hear in songs is not love. And always get the exact same response you want. It's about somebody failing at relationships, somebody that has the idea that love is unreal, unlike any other human relationship. Every single song about love is not actually about love. You'll forget about the bad vibes in a second. Yeah one of you were upset but you'll still talk about that weekly activity and see each other then. Especially if it's over text, change the subject to something light, fun, interactive. Think how you can see each other not just over three weeks, but over 3 to 6 months.Д¬hange the subject/Move past it. Too much tension at first dates will inevitably fail. You don't need to text every day during those two weeks. It gives you both space to grow your feelings, like you need to give your muscles time to grow after a hard workout at the gym. If someone is going on a two week trip, that might feel bad but it's actually good. Give both sides time and spaces to experience ups and down in attraction, and to realize it's actually good. If everything has to be a serious date, and every communication has to be serious, moving you forward to the next step, pressure is too high and at some point one person will inevitably stop replying or pull back. I think app dating will fail 99% of the time if you don't build that foundational trust, and a social context that brings you together.

KEEP IT LIGHT UPDATE

That needs to be built as well as context - like in jokes, or things you can update each other on, like your job search or whatever exam you had to take or an exhibition you went to that was fun. When it comes to meeting someone through an app, trust is lacking compared when meeting through a friend or some social context. If you were going have a phone call and the other person says I'll call you when I'm free, around 9, and it ends up being 11 so you sat around waiting, say that your style is moreДon't rush. No communication should be an ultimatum where it seems like there's only one answer you would accept and otherwise you would be pissed or not see them again. If something makes you upset, express that. By then both should've had enough time and space to build up their own feelings without external interference.Д¬ommunicate.

This is up until a certain point when you both have the talk. Every interaction should be light - not pushing pressure or expectations for the other to act a certain way. Dating should be fun and close to effortless.

KEEP IT LIGHT HOW TO

I don't follow these religiously but keep them in mind to decide how to act at times. Here's a list of the dating guidelines I made for myself after learning from a number of failures.

Keep it light